‘Step up’, ‘sit at the table’, ‘lean in’. But what does all that mean in terms of practical steps? We’ve heard the soundbite responses to the obstacles encountered by women at work, in society and in our own feelings about [...]]]> Rosalind Adler and Lea Sellers from Media Skills for Women are this week’s guest bloggers

‘Step up’, ‘sit at the table’, ‘lean in’. But what does all that mean in terms of practical steps?
We’ve heard the soundbite responses to the obstacles encountered by women at work, in society and in our own feelings about self-worth.

We know that attitudes and behaviour need to shift in so many areas. There’s an expectation gap between men and women about salaries and promotion. The often-quoted study about women’s lower self-worth (the job advert posting the salary at 50K getting hardly any female applicants whereas the same job advertised at 30K had a huge response from women) is so well-known because it’s so clear.

We know that the thorny issue of gender roles has roots everywhere: little children watching TV unconsciously absorb that 50% of the boy characters solve their own problems as opposed to 35% of the female characters.

We know that for adolescent girls, being popular and liked is usually more important than it is for adolescent boys.

We know that gender stereotyping can limit girls’ career choices – and that applications from girls to study car mechanics shot up when Kylie Minogue’s character first wielded a spanner in Neighbours.

We know that even when women big up their achievements at work, employing the same strategies as men to get ahead, they may still be overlooked because the problem lies not in their approach but in the reactions and evaluations of the organisation that employs them.

But we know a lot of other stuff too: that for many people job satisfaction is just as important as climbing the greasy pole; that being liked is no bad thing; that we may have different priorities from men and from each other. And that’s all good.
What we all need to do is start from wherever we are and move on into the jungle one step at a time.

At MEDIA SKILLS FOR WOMEN, we come across one very big issue in different guises. Time and again we coach women whose diffidence and self-doubt is holding them back from unlocking their full potential either as speakers or as people who are going to have to handle media interviews. We’ve worked with women who feel inadequate as speakers because they feel they need to emulate someone else’s style; often they feel that in order to be a good speaker, they have to speak like a man.

We’ve worked with women who are about go on BBC’s Question Time because they are senior or hugely expert in their field and yet believe they’re not good enough, that they’re going to mess up.

A woman’s first step therefore is often to acknowledge some lack of confidence. A large part of our work is to assure women that their own voice, their own style and their own message is more than good enough. That’s what we work on.

In the conquering of unhelpful levels of diffidence, however, we in no way encourage women to emulate the worst bits of (stereotypically) male ‘confidence’: winging it, bullshitting, flying on empty. That is self-evidently not confidence at all but bluster – no good to anyone. We don’t want women to fall from the frying pan into the fire: an impenetrable, rock-hard swagger is not what we’re after for our clients. We’re looking for the real deal and that involves painstaking preparation, ruthless editing, crystalline clarity.

Let’s remember, men have it quite tough too – particularly young men – because of the fear they might lose face if they admit to vulnerability or insecurity. Women find it easier to say they’re unsure about something or to ask for help, and that can be a strength.

In the same way, we feel it’s important that women who are working in politics of any kind, as councillors or MPs, don’t fall from one kind of ghettoisation into another: becoming spokespeople solely on ‘women’s issues’, whether that be workplace discrimination, FGM or sexual violence. The last thing we need is to narrow ourselves right back down again. Issues of gender affect us all. Isn’t that the whole point?

MEDIA SKILLS FOR WOMEN training encourages women to examine – and maybe shift - their attitudes to themselves. We want you to exploit your own talent and potential and be the best you can – not just for your own sake but because we don’t want to be stepping into a jungle. We want to be creating and entering a world – all of us surely? – where the talents of everyone, regardless of gender, are fully realised and fully employed. That’s how we’ll change the planet, after all.

http://mediaskillsforwomen.com

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On Saturday 11th May over 70 current and future female leaders assembled in Limehouse, London, to come together to share their experience and their ambitions, [...]]]> Caroline Watson, Director and Co-founder of Progressive Women writes on the success of our leadership conference ‘Making it Happen’ and how those who missed it can still share the experience

On Saturday 11th May over 70 current and future female leaders assembled in Limehouse, London, to come together to share their experience and their ambitions, to support one another and celebrate women’s leadership. Workshops covered a range of issues from starting your own business, reaching the board, maximising social media, having it all – balancing work and family, building confidence, and getting ahead in politics. There was a wealth of wisdom and enthusiasm unparalleled at any event Progressive Women has previously organised, and in fact any event I have been to! If you have ever met me, or attended a Progressive Women event you have probably heard me say that we want debate and discussion about women’s equality particularly in leadership positions. However, what we want to do even more is practically support, inspire and enable women to take the steps necessary to propel them on their own path to success. This is why, this spring, we hosted ‘Making it Happen’. If you were unable to make it, you can share some of the insights from our speakers and attendees by watching the short films here.

Why Society is Poorer without Women Leaders with Dame Tessa Jowell MP

Showing Women What’s Possible

Lessons for Leadership from Making it Happen ‘Ask yourself why not?’

The day couldn’t have happened without the generosity of so many women and men. Thank you to Royal Foundation of St Katharine, the Electoral Reform Society and Care by Design for sponsoring the event. Thank you to Sally Overhead and Emma from MojoMums, Rowena Ironside of Women on Boards, Candy Piercy of Midas Training Solutions, Ruth Culver of North London Hypnotherapy, Judy and Charlotte Oliver of ANKLE and Oliver & Company, Emily Benet author and blogger, Katie Ghose of the Electoral Reform Society, and Dame Tessa Jowell MP. All of whom donated their time and their expertise free of charge. Without these fabulous women the day could not have happened.

Huge thank you also to Georgia Hussey for making the short films. And last but no means least all the Progressive Women: Lucy, Emma W, Emma M, Binita, Nicole and Anna for ‘Making it Happen’.

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On Saturday May 11th I was privileged to be a part of the Progressive Women Spring Conference, ‘Making it Happen’. The event was designed to enable, inspire and support women to reach their full potential with a packed schedule of incredible and [...]]]> Emma Ward works for an addiction charity and is co-director of Progressive Women

On Saturday May 11^th I was privileged to be a part of the Progressive Women Spring Conference, ‘Making it Happen’. The event was designed to enable, inspire and support women to reach their full potential with a packed schedule of incredible and diverse female speakers and trainers. I was personally moved and inspired by both the speakers and the participants and I could write several blogs on a number of the themes, but I have decided to record the valuable lessons that I personally took from the day.

The thread that ran through all of the talks I heard was to begin by trying to understand who you are, what excites you and what you really want.  Not what you think you should do, not what you think you could do, but what you really want to do, and then be brave enough to believe that you are capable and deserving of achieving your goal.

In the process of working towards and achieving your goals I learned that it is impossible to avoid:

• Asking for what you want
• Allowing yourself to be visible
• Allowing yourself to take risks and get out of your comfort zone
• Allowing yourself to be open to criticism and make mistakes
• Asking for help and support
• Challenging the messages you’ve been told by yourself and others about your limits

Dame Tessa Jowell shared that, in her experience, many women needed to be asked to lead and reassured that they could do it before they could take that leap. A few weeks ago, Caroline, a Progressive Women co-founder, asked our team for a volunteer to chair one of the sessions on the day. My head dropped down as I hoped that someone else would volunteer. I find public speaking and being the centre of attention very challenging and all the usual thoughts went through my head: ‘you’ll be rubbish’, ‘someone else would do a better job’, ‘if you do it you’ll ruin the whole event’.  During the same time, I had been to an excellent workshop by writer Emily Benet and asked her to be a trainer and speaker at the event. She admitted her nerves but agreed to do it and I reassured her that I believed that she had something valuable to add. Like many people, I am perfectly comfortable encouraging others, but I struggle to do it for myself.

In hearing all the stories from the speakers, organsisers and participants I realised that nearly every woman, and probably man, however successful, at some point worries that they’re not good enough and that other people are more competent and therefore more deserving of success. In order for us to make that leap, we often need just one word of support from someone we trust. In the end, due to the encouragement of Progressive Women team, I agreed to chair one of the sessions, even though I was paralysed with fear in the days leading up to the event. On the day I even enjoyed being at the centre of things and had some really positive feedback from the audience on how I chaired the session. I left feeling incredibly proud and with a greater belief in my abilities.  I passionately believe in inspiring and supporting women to have the courage to reach their full potential.  I think that one of the most powerful ways I can do that is to be the change I want to see in the world and dare to believe in myself.

Only a month old when Britain’s first female Prime Minister left Number 10 Downing Street for the last time, I have nevertheless [...]]]>

Join Dame Tessa Jowell MP and other inspiring women leaders at Progressive Women’s ‘Making it Happen’ Leadership conference on 11 May. Find out more and book your tickets here  

I was lucky enough to have the chance to join the audience for the screening of the Alice Walker film at the Women of the World festival a few weeks ago. I have [...]]]> Caroline Watson, Director of Progressive Women, writes on how Alice Walker has shaped her thinking of the limitations of western feminism.

I was lucky enough to have the chance to join the audience for the screening of the Alice Walker film at the Women of the World festival a few weeks ago. I have been a huge fan of Alice Walker’s books for many years, since I first read The Color Purple. I was really excited to know I was going to see a film about her life, and learn her personal story. So the icing on the cake was to discover that she was going to be present at the screening to discuss it afterwards.

Her novels have been completely inspiring to me, and shaped the way I have seen the world, influencing my attitudes towards religion, love and race - and in the flesh she lived up to all my expectations. Alice grew up on a farm as a child in Georgia, where her mother stood up to the white farmer boss and told him her daughter would go to school and not work on the farm, as was expected of black families on farms at that time. We learned of her experience falling in love with a white Jewish man and marrying him, not just out of love, ‘we could have lived in sin’, but because it was illegal: ‘no one was going to tell me who to love’.  Walker was one of the leading black feminists in the civil rights movement, her family home was even targeted by the Ku Klux Klan.

Having read Walker’s novels, none of this surprised me. What was new to me was the reaction in the United States to the film version of The Color Purple, starring Whoopi Goldberg, Danny Glover and Oprah Winfrey. There was a backlash at the time of the  film’s release. Many spoke out in the press against the film’s negative portrayal of black men and black families. To be honest, this had never occurred to me when I watched it (as a white English girl). What did resonate was a story about strong women, strong female characters, and ones that were different in nature to each other, not just another film narrative about bold male characters and a token pretty wife or girlfriend.

There were lots of questions to Alice from the audience, and lots of thought-provoking answers. The one that rang true for me and has remained with me ever since, and the reason I wanted to write this blog, was about western feminism. Alice made the point that women in the western world fighting for equality have focused on having equal access to men’s roles – such as getting equal recognition in the workplace. What we have failed to fight for is women’s traditional roles being equal. For babies born today in the UK, their fathers do not have the same rights as their mothers to take paid leave from work to care for them, and no job security if they decide to do so for more than 2 weeks. Yes, the policy is going to change, but in 2013 why have we waited so long for this to happen? And I don’t expect the social and culture pressures on women to be the primary carers to change over night as soon as the change in the law comes into force.

We’re not just limiting women’s progress in the workplace when we expect them to take up the childcare responsibilities, we’re devaluing their contribution in the home, by saying it’s not important enough for men to do this role. But we’re also limiting men too. Men often miss seeing their children grow up, take their first steps, hear their first words, because there is more pressure on them to be the breadwinner. Are men who choose to be stay-at-home dads able to do so without judgement? Maybe it depends what sector they work in. But from conversations I have had with friends who work in law, banking and other city jobs, it’s far more acceptable for a woman to go back to work part time or take a year off on maternity leave, than it ever would be for a man to do so. If we really want equality in the workplace and society, we have to give men the freedom to take on family responsibilities just as women can. Once traditional women’s roles are really acknowledged as equal then men and women will both really have more opportunities to live fulfilled lives. As one of my other favourite writers, Brene Brown, states, we put our expectations on men to be strong and not show too much emotion. I do think there is truth in this: ‘being emotional’ is seen to be traditionally feminine and we should encourage men to be express their emotions too without being perceived as weak. Otherwise, we are trapping men into a gendered role, one that isn’t good for anyone. It’s the inability to express emotion without being perceived as weak that leads to anger and violence.

They say meeting your heroes can be a disappointment. I wasn’t lucky enough to meet Alice Walker, but hearing her speak was far from a disappointment. Just as she has given me so much to think about from her writings, in person she left me pondering what Progressive Women should be addressing in terms of equality, and as a woman what expectations I put not only on myself but also the men in my life.

Join Dame Tessa Jowell MP and other inspiring women leaders at Progressive Women’s ‘Making it Happen’ Leadership conference on 11 May. Find out more and book your tickets here  

Progressive Women Making it Happen: Leadership conference

Royal Foundation of St Katharine, 2 Butcher Row, London E14 8DS (nearest station Limehouse DLR)

9.30am Arrivals, tea and coffee

10.00am Introduction from Progressive Women

10.05am Panel discussion on ‘Common Themes for Success’

This one-day event addresses the deficit of women in leadership positions in the UK. It is designed to equip female attendees with the skills necessary to achieve their leadership potential – in [...]]]> We’re delighted to launch ticket sales for our May leadership conference, Making it Happen, with a keynote speech from Dame Tessa Jowell MP.

This one-day event addresses the deficit of women in leadership positions in the UK. It is designed to equip female attendees with the skills necessary to achieve their leadership potential – in business, politics and the public sector. Sessions include inspiring testimonies from successful female leaders and information on how to get selected as a political candidate, or make it to the top tiers of business.

Professional training workshops include ‘Why you should reach for the Board and how to get there‘ with Rowena Ironside Chair of Women on Boards, ‘Starting your own business‘ with Judy Oliver, and ‘Making it Happen with Social Media‘ with Emily Benet.  Other workshops will address Balancing work and family, Getting ahead in politics, and Building confidence for success.

The programme’s keynote speaker will be Labour MP Dame Tessa Jowell, former Shadow Minister for London and for the Olympics.

Speaking about her role in the upcoming conference, Dame Tessa said:

‘I am delighted to be speaking at Making it Happen. There are not enough women in leadership positions – they make up only 22.5% of MPs and hold 17.3% of FTSE 100 Director positions. This Progressive Women event will galvanise action to rectify the deplorable lack of women decision-makers at the top of UK society.’

Caroline Watson, Director of Progressive Women, said:

‘We’re thrilled to be able to offer a full day of leadership training with professional coaches who have volunteered their time and expertise to help female future leaders. We have a fantastic line up of inspiring speakers and we’re touched to have so many incredible women on the programme.’

The conference is sponsored by the Electoral Reform Society.

When: Saturday 11 May

Where: Royal Foundation of Saint Katherine, in East London.

What time: The event will begin at 9.30 for 10am, until 4.30pm.

Full details and tickets (£20) are available from 12 March here

The only sound to be heard is the clack of my shoes on the hard floor as I step inside the chapel for Vespers. Twenty Carmelite nuns stand before me undisturbed and immersed in prayer. They live in silence and upon entering the order, they vow to let go of [...]]]>

 

The only sound to be heard is the clack of my shoes on the hard floor as I step inside the chapel for Vespers. Twenty Carmelite nuns stand before me undisturbed and immersed in prayer. They live in silence and upon entering the order, they vow to let go of their material possessions, to be obedient to God, and to submit themselves to a life of chastity.

No, I haven’t travelled back in time to meet these women but, in fact, to the tiny village of Quidenham in Norfolk. Sister Shelagh broke the rule of silence for me as I asked her what it’s like to live in such an intensely female environment.

“There is a deep bond of unity between us and it’s very supportive, living in a community. I know I couldn’t live this life on my own, so I’m very grateful for the support of the community.”

Sister Shelagh was married before she became a Carmelite nun. After ten years in her relationship she says she still hadn’t found contentment. She said turning to a life of monasticism, without our sexual counterparts, gave her a sense of contentment and comfort.

“It’s very rewarding and it gives full scope for human relationships, there’s no sense of having to cut bits of oneself off in order to live this life.”

Judy has learned English and now has a job thanks to her women only community

Echoes of a patriarchal past

I’ve spent seven months investigating women-only communities, how they live and the issues they face. From Kenya to Brunei and now the UK, this convent is my last stop.

While I won’t disagree that all of the Sisters at the convent seem tranquil, I can’t help but think that chastity, obedience and silence echo past expectations of women in our once patriarchal society.

In today’s culture feminism and gender equality are two pressing and widely debated movements for the development of society and have been gaining momentum for over 100 years since the struggles of the Suffragettes in the late 18th Century. While all-female communities seem to be empowering women I wonder if they are holding women back.

This is not the case says Kat Pinder. As an organiser of RadFem 2013, a radical feminist conference in London, Kat considers herself a women’s liberationist and gender abolitionist. She says that all-female communities are essential for women’s liberation, “they are spaces where women can find themselves and remember themselves and understand who we are outside of male society”.

“A group of nuns, for example, who are based around a patriarchal religion, may not brand themselves as feminists initially but I have spoken a lot of women who have spent a lot of time in women-only spaces and that’s how they’ve ended up coming to feminism, even though what they were doing was not necessarily organised around feminism.”

Jenny Eaton, from the Eos personal development programme for women, has seen this theory in motion and she says that women often become conscious feminists as a result of women-only environments.

Active feminists

“Women who have never thought like it before begin look at the world in a different way because they have a different experience of being in groups of women because, with the odd exception, I have found that women learning and training together bond, and they bond very quickly.

Women who have a positive experience of personal growth in a group of women, it actually makes them a feminist in a more active way.”

Of course, it’s not just religion that brings women together and not all these women are feminists. So what makes them want to be part of a world without men?

Clinical psychologist Bhavna Negandhi says that, as women, it’s in our nature to thrive in all-female environments:

“If you look at it from a biological and historical perspective, an evolutionary perspective, that’s what women did. Men used to go out hunting and the all-female community was left behind to help each other out with children, companionship, emotions, and have general chit chat.

“Even now, while men turn to women for emotional support, women don’t seem to get the same from men. Women prefer to get their emotional support from other females and maybe wanting to be a part of all-female group is probably for that emotional and even practical support.”

A Kenyan cooperative

It was in the Kenyan Chalbi desert where I met a group of women who do just this. Having escaped from forced marriage to a HIV positive man three times her age, twenty-year-old Judy, pictured, found the Umoja Women’s Group: a community of women working and living together, where there are no men allowed.

She told me how when she arrived in the small town of Archer’s Post, the women here took her in as their child and looked after her.

“When I came here, I heard that the village called Umoja was for women with problems, so when I arrived the women here took me in like their child and now I am ok, I am happy.”

These Kenyan women sell traditional homemade jewellery to passing tourists in order to provide for their children

Since its modest beginning in the 90s, when the village was just one mud hut and handful of destitute women, the community has grown enormously. Now the 48 women who live here, belonging to many different tribes, make and sell traditional tribal jewellery to tourists in order to keep the village running and have recently built a preschool for their children.

Bhavna says that when it’s not religion bringing women together, it’s the need for support of some kind like that of the women of Umoja, but there will always be competition and rivalry and there will, and always has been, bitchiness.

Surreptitious sabotage and sisterhood

The WRAC was disbanded in the early 90s to make way for gender integration across the military

As an American teen, writer Jillian Lauren lived in an opulent palace in the colourful city of Brunei occupied by over 20 women who were all competing for the attention of one man: the Prince of Brunei, Jefri Bolkiah.

In this modern version of the traditional harem there was fierce competition, surreptitious sabotage and shifting alliances among the girls. But even while they were contending with one another, it wasn’t always a ‘mean girls’ act.

“It was a really competitive environment in terms of the relationships between us girls, but there were some real friendships that arose out of it and I do think that women will take care of each other and that we did on some level.”

It is this consistent theme that runs throughout the groups that I have met in this investigation: this sense of sisterhood. Gender segregation has been a habitual part of society in the past, from single-sex education to the units in the armed forces, and men and women have fought for equality and integration in such environments. The Women’s Royal Army Corps (WRAC) was disbanded in the 90s after women demanded they be treated equally to men. Now both sexes live and work together throughout the military, but some are still not happy. Ex-members of the WRAC say they often preferred the single sex structure, leading to questions about whether it is actually gender integration, rather than segregation that is holding women back.

 

Lottie Gross is an ambitious freelance multimedia journalist graduating from Bournemouth University, 2013.

This International Women’s Day is a time of reflection on the progress women have made towards equality in society, and of course, the progress still yet to be made. I grew up believing that I could do whatever I wanted and that any opportunities open [...]]]> Caroline Watson is Co-founder and Director of Progressive Women 

This International Women’s Day is a time of reflection on the progress women have made towards equality in society, and of course, the progress still yet to be made. I grew up believing that I could do whatever I wanted and that any opportunities open to men were also open to me. So as I got older and entered the professional world it came as a surprise to realise that those high up in all the companies I have worked in tend to be male. In the open plan office there are plenty of women, but the higher up the chain you go the less women there are. Where are they??

I just finished reading ‘A Woman’s Place is in the Board Room’  by Peninah Thomson and Jacey Graham, with Tom Lloyd. They highlight that female-held directorships at the UK ‘s 100 largest listed companies fell from 121 (10.5%) in 2005 to 117 (10.35%) in 2006. They also note that the female FTSE Report 2007 noted that women accounted for 36% of managers and directors compared with 31% in 2006. So at least that shows some progress in the right direction (or at least 6 years ago!). However, women were paid less than men, partly because they were promoted earlier.

Does it matter? Personally, I’d like to see equal representation in positions of power. But is it good for business? According to McKinsey it is. According to Thomson and Graham a study by McKinsey and Co ‘companies where women are most strongly represented at board or top management level are also the companies that perform the best.’

Thomson and Graham make the argument that the problems the world faces are so complex that we need all the talent available to solve them, and that limiting the recruitment pool to less than 50% of the population is missing out on 50% of the talent. ‘More women on the boards of our large companies isn’t going to solve these problems at a stroke, ofcourse, but it will contribute to their solution, by increasing the reservoirs of human ingenuity, imagination, insight and will available to address them.’

The book actually only spends the first chapter making the case for women on boards, and the remainder of the book focuses on advice and guidance for women and recruiters. They make the case that there isn’t a shortage of qualified candidates, and not a shortage of board positions. What they observe is that women are sufficiently well prepared for board positions and companies can and should do more to steer their senior women in the right directions. They also emphasise what women can do to improve their likelihood of reaching the board. Some key tips they cover include:

• The language of the board is legal and financial. An understanding of company law and finance is essential. Finance isn’t rocket science, London Business School runs an intensive residential financial seminar for senior managers four times a year.
• Gravitas is an important quality for a director. But it isn’t something you’re born with. If you assume a calm, considered personae, and diligently school yourself always to behave in a way that projects gravitas, you will come to be seen as having gravitas.
• Raise your profile. Get out more: attend conferences, go to meetings on more general strategic issues, be opinionated, well informed and vocal. Make sure those who matter know what you have achieved and that you are ready for new challenges.
• Deep reflection, insight and development of self-awareness are the route to authentic, effective and influential leadership. Find trusted colleagues or friends to give you feedback and support. Find a mentor. Get an executive coach.

At times the authors fall into relying on cliches, such as ‘Unlike men you can’t rely on your natural instincts to compel you to grab opportunities when they present themselves’. I’m sure there are many men out there who don’t feel that it is their natural instinct to grab opportunities. But it’s not to say this isn’t something successful men and women need to condition themselves to do.

At Progressive Women, we’re inspired by the work achieved by Thomson and Graham to support women on their path to the Board, and this book is invaluable for any woman wanting to reach the board, and for businesses who want to maximise their access to the talent pool. We want to see more women on boards and across all leadership positions. That’s why we’re delighted to have Rowena Ironside, Chair of Women on Boards, joining us for our Leadership conference on 11 May. Rowena will be one of a line up of professional leadership coaches delivering workshop sessions on a range of topics from ‘Starting your own company’, ‘Getting selected and elected’, ‘Balancing work and family’, and of course ‘Reaching the Board’. If you haven’t yet thought about adding Board Member to your career trajectory, it’s time to start thinking about it. Regardless of where you are in your career now, Rowena will be on hand to help you think about what steps will take you on that path. This will be just one of a range of professional workshops on offer to help you develop your leadership skills. What we have come to realise at Progressive Women is that women can support each other to reach the top, but for women to get to the top it’s up to us as women to choose that path, believe we can get there and seek out the help we need to do so.

For more information on ‘Making it Happen: Progressive Women’s Leadership conference’ on 11 May, email progress@progressivewomen.org.uk for more information. Tickets will be on sale in the next week.

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