Last week I met up with my friend Alex who I haven’t seen for two and half years. She said she’s been ‘in a social coma’ as she had seriously thrown herself into her work as an event organiser. Since I last saw her she had reached lofty career heights, becoming a Director of a successful events company, which she has now left to start her own.
After last week’s Progressive Women event where a recurrent theme was that women often lack the self-belief they need to put themselves out there, go for it, and succeed, it was truly inspiring to hear from another woman who recognises her ability, is prepared to take a risk, and put her all into something she really believes in.
At the Progressive Women event Anne Fairweather (Labour candidate in the European Elections) and Sian Berry (Green Party Mayoral candidate) both stated that they only ran when prompted to do so by others. Men on the other hand more often than not put themselves forward, whereas women are more likely to wait to be asked. It makes me think we have a serious cultural problem, a ‘crisis of confidence’. It is good that women can be more cautious, that they want to be totally prepared, but it is a sad situation when women are holding themselves back because they don’t think they are perfect for the job, but men recognise that they have something valuable to add even if they are not perfect.
I’m not exactly sure what the answer is, but I think women encouraging and supporting each other is crucial. We also need to be more assertive and confident. We can achieve this at an individual level by not being so hard on ourselves and recognising our own strong attributes. We can also do this as a group by fostering a supportive network and presenting each other with strong role models. We should take inspiration from those women leading; those who we work with and we are friends with.
Alex, for example, I think is both brave and an inspiration. Do you have an example of an inspirational woman that you want to share? If so let us know.
And if like Alex you’re a woman and want to set up your own business you can find helpful information here:
When I was eleven or twelve I heard Barbara Castle speak. I have never seen such passion, such belief, and such idealism all rolled into one woman. It is one of my favourite memories and it has given me confidence to speak up in meetings when I have been full of nerves. (More about Barbara Castle here: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/932237.stm)
Another woman who inspires me greatly is Sylvia Pankhurst. Best known as a suffragette, she was not afraid to brake away from her mother and sister when she disagreed fundementally with their actions. She was a champion of working people, she worked hard for a number of causes including anti-fascism, she refused to marry, and her son carries her name instead of his father’s. She is well known for such a small portion of her life.
Finally, and more personally, there is my mother. She was born in Bethnal Green when it was still one of the poorest areas in London, and with her family moved to near Hainault Forest through the Slum Clearance Acts in the early fifties. After leaving school she worked as a secretary for a few years, before training as a social worker. She has spent many years working towards greater advocacy and better conditions for adults with learning difficulties, particularly moving them from institutions into more community based living. When I was eighteen she received her Masters degree, having never taken an undergraduate degree and spending years working towards her MSc part time. She has supported me, and given me faith and belief in myself. She was a single parent years before anyone else at my school had divorced parents, but worked hard to ensure that this was never a problem for me. She is proud of her roots, and is an amazing, strong woman, from a long line of strong women.
Sorry, got a little carried away there…
The woman I admire the most has shown through her example that with hard work and faith in God everything is possible. She has shown me that any obstacle whether large or small is beneficial and necessary in order to achieve the greatness which lies within.
This women has shown me that I must live on purpose and with purpose because we all have right to be here. I have learned that when you give-not just charity but your time, energy and passion to those in need, then you are receiving something greater than life itself…a peace of knowing that you’ve left the world a better place for generations to follow.
This woman has shown me that by her dependence on God she has established a true independence from man. She has demonstrated that she does not need to depend on a man to achieve greatness, happiness or success.
Coming from a family where she was the youngest of five, her father left at an early age leaving her mother to raise five children during the end of the US depression. This young girl worked her way through high school doing domestic work in a rural town in Oklahoma and married soon afterwards.
Her husband, who was an alcoholic, physically and mentally abused her for nine years before she finally was able to break free.
After finishing her Undergrad at Langston University, she immediately got a job for the State of Oklahoma and was sent out of state to Washington University for their Graduate program in Social Work…all of which was paid for by her employer. She was one of a handful of African Americans to attend Wash U at the time and she felt it.
This remarkable woman desired to be a mother but unable to have children due to misdiagnosis, she wanted to adopt. This was the 1970’s, and single parent adoptions weren’t very common. An African American single parent adoption was just unheard of, especially in Oklahoma. But that did not stop my mom.
In 1973, my mom became one of the first African American women in Oklahoma to adopt as a single parent. Her courage and strength has inspired to me carry on and fight through the struggles and challenges I face as being a breast cancer survivor at 35. It was only two months after my diagnosis that my mom at 70 was diagnosed with breast cancer. We are both striving and doing well and I know that it was because of the woman that she is I am the woman that I am.
I am so grateful to God for her and I can only hope that I can be half the woman that she is and I pray I can be a blessing to my son, the way my mom is a blessing to me.
I know I really got carried away, however, I just had to share on the woman that has influenced my life the most. Thank you for all that you are doing to promote women supporting women!